No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. No truth, no sincerity, no strength, no kindness can cure that sorrow. All we can do is see it through to the end and learn something from it, but what we learn will be no help in facing the next sorrow that comes to us without warning.
Memories and thoughts age, just as people do. But certain thoughts can never age, and certain memories can never fade.
So that’s how we live our lives. No matter how deep and fatal the loss, no matter how important the thing that’s stolen from us—that’s snatched right out of our hands—even if we are left completely changed, with only the outer layer of skin from before, we continue to play out our lives this way, in silence. We draw ever nearer to the end of our allotted span of time, bidding it farewell as it trails off behind. Repeating, often adroitly, the endless deeds of the everyday. Leaving behind a feeling of insurmountable emptiness… Maybe, in some distant place, everything is already, quietly, lost. Or at least there exists a silent place where everything can disappear, melting together in a single, overlapping figure. And as we live our lives we discover—drawing toward us the thin threads attached to each—what has been lost. I closed my eyes and tried to bring to mind as many beautiful lost things as I could. Drawing them closer, holding on to them. Knowing all the while that their lives are fleeting.
I want you always to remember me. Will you remember that I existed, and that I stood next to you here like this?
And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.
Even Now
by Dashboard Confessional
Even now I can smell your clothes
Freshly from the wash
Still hot from the dryer
Even now I can smell your skin
As I wrap you in a towel
Lay you on the bed
And try to love you
Even now I can feel your arms
I can feel your breast
I can hear your songs
And I always can find you again
Even now I can feel your hand
Gently over mine
With almost no weight at all
Even now I can feel your eyes
Watch me as I strum
Much too late at night
Even now I can see you smile
I can hear you hum
I can hear you sing
And I always can find you again
Even in the dark of night
Even in the lowest light
Even as the world outside
Is spinning, and spinning
Even now I can feel your hair
Blow across my cheek
As we sit in one of two chairs
Even now I can feel your face
Resting on my chest
Wrestling for sleep
And failing at it
Even now I can see you sleep
I can see you dream
I can see you fly
And I always can find you again
And I always can find you again
And I always can find you again
Goodbye is the hardest thing to say to someone who means the world to you, especially when goodbye isn’t what you want.
— (via thelovewhisperer)
I miss you. I hate that we’re not talking and that we’re both out of each other’s lives for good. I just want you to know that you’re the best thing to ever happen to me. And I won’t forget you. I hope someday we can sit down, have coffee and reminisce on how silly we were as teenagers. Be well, I wish you the best my dear. I wish you happiness too. And everything your heart seeks. You’re no longer with me and I will accept this faithfully.
— The Secret Letter: You, (via thelovewhisperer)
(Source: thesecretletteroldposts, via thelovewhisperer)
Forever and Always
by Parachute
She’s sitting at the table, the hours get later
He was supposed to be here
She’s sure he would have called
She waits a little longer, there’s no one in the driveway
No one’s said they’ve seen him
Why, is something wrong?
She looks back to the window
Suddenly the phone rings
A voice says something’s happened
That she should come right now
Her mind goes to December
She thinks of when he asked her
He bent down on his knees first
And he said
I want you forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We’ll grow old together
Forever and always
She pulls up to the entrance
She walks right to the front desk
They lead her down a million halls, a maze that’s never ending
They talk about what happened but she can barely hear them
She tries to keep a straight face as she walks into the room
She sits by his bedside, holds his hand too tight
They talk about the kids they’re gonna have and the good life
The house on the hillside, where they would stay
Stay there forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We’ll grow old together, and always remember
Whether rich or for poor or for better
We’ll still love each other, forever and always
Then she gets an idea and calls in the nurses
Brings up the chaplain and he says a couple verses
She borrows some rings from the couple next door
Everybody’s laughing as the tears fall on the floor
She looks into his eyes, and she says
I want you forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We’ll grow old together, and always remember
Whether happy or sad or whatever
We’ll still love each other, forever and always
Forever and always, forever and always
She finishes the vows but the beeps are getting too slow
His voice is almost too low
As he says, I love you forever, forever and always
Please just remember even if I’m not there
I’ll always love you, forever and always
Dearest Michelle Tan and Tracey Carlton, this quote is especially for you. Grief knits two hearts in closer bonds than happiness ever can, and common suffering is a far stronger link that common joy.
— Alphonse de Lamartine
Signs
by Bloc Party
Two ravens in the old oak tree
And one for you and one for me
And bluebells in the late December
I see signs now all the time
The last time we slept together
There was something that was not there
You never wanted to alarm me
But I’m the one that’s drowning now
I could sleep forever these days
‘Cause in my dreams I see you again
But this time fleshed out full face
In your confirmation dress
It was so like you to visit me
To let me know you were OK
It was so like you to visit me
Always worried about someone else
At your funeral, I was so upset
So, so upset
In your life you were larger than this
statuesque
I see signs now all the time
That you’re not dead, you’re sleeping
I’d believe in anything that brings you back home to me
If I had wings, I’d fly where you are.
If I could control distance, you’d never be far.
I’d I had a way, I’d be with you right now.
Cause I can’t live my life the way it should be
when you’re far away from me.
